Q: If you see a Scouser on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
> A: It might be your bicycle
>
> Q: What do you call a Scouser in a suit?
> A: The accused.(yes i know it's an old one)
>
> Q: Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
> A: Because if it walked it would be mugged.
>
> Q: What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi?
> A: A burglar.
>
> Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Merseyside?
> A: Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
>
> Q: What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?
> A: One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut.
>
> Q: What do you say to a scouser on a bike?
> A: Stop Thief!
>
> Q: What do you say to a scouser in a uniform?
> A: Big Mac and fries please.
>
> Q: What's the first question at a Liverpool pub quiz night ?
> A: What are you looking at?
>
> ------------------------------------------------------
>
> At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and
> 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay
man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the gay fella finally
> plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian. Leaning over,
he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers. At this,the
massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the
face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of
the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to
his seat as if nothing had happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over
another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he
say to you?" "I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
>
> ------------------------------------------
>
> 2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike.
They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if
he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them he has no room
in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the
bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is
getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to
leave.
> "R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The trucker once again explains that he has
no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to the driver
that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and he agrees.
> They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon
so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really
late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police
pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying
to which he replies Scouse Eggs. The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so
wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.
He gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as
possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many
officers. "I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already
hatched and the b*****ds have managed to nick a motorbike already".
> A: It might be your bicycle
>
> Q: What do you call a Scouser in a suit?
> A: The accused.(yes i know it's an old one)
>
> Q: Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
> A: Because if it walked it would be mugged.
>
> Q: What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi?
> A: A burglar.
>
> Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Merseyside?
> A: Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
>
> Q: What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?
> A: One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut.
>
> Q: What do you say to a scouser on a bike?
> A: Stop Thief!
>
> Q: What do you say to a scouser in a uniform?
> A: Big Mac and fries please.
>
> Q: What's the first question at a Liverpool pub quiz night ?
> A: What are you looking at?
>
> ------------------------------------------------------
>
> At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and
> 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay
man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the gay fella finally
> plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian. Leaning over,
he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers. At this,the
massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the
face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of
the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to
his seat as if nothing had happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over
another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he
say to you?" "I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
>
> ------------------------------------------
>
> 2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike.
They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if
he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them he has no room
in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the
bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is
getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to
leave.
> "R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The trucker once again explains that he has
no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to the driver
that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and he agrees.
> They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon
so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really
late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police
pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying
to which he replies Scouse Eggs. The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so
wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.
He gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as
possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many
officers. "I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already
hatched and the b*****ds have managed to nick a motorbike already".
