Joke Time
- Thread starter Wan
- Start date
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Hey - turns out IRC is out and something a little more modern has taken it's place... A little thing called Discord!
Join our community @ https://discord.gg/JuaSzXBZrk for a pick-up game, or just to rekindle with fellow community members.
Piercing
A young woman goes to the piercing shop .
woman; "i'd like my left nipple pierced please"
Piercing guy; "no problem miss, if youd care to remove your blouse and bra I can make a start"
so the woman does so and reclines as indicated in the piercing chair.
The piercing guy looks at the womans nipple from top, bottom and both sides.
piercing guy; "I'm gonna have to numb it for ya miss"
woman; "ok I'm ready"
with that the piercing guy cups the young womans left breast, sticks her nipple into his mouth and proceeds to suck noisily.
"num num num num...........".
A young woman goes to the piercing shop .
woman; "i'd like my left nipple pierced please"
Piercing guy; "no problem miss, if youd care to remove your blouse and bra I can make a start"
so the woman does so and reclines as indicated in the piercing chair.
The piercing guy looks at the womans nipple from top, bottom and both sides.
piercing guy; "I'm gonna have to numb it for ya miss"
woman; "ok I'm ready"
with that the piercing guy cups the young womans left breast, sticks her nipple into his mouth and proceeds to suck noisily.
"num num num num...........".
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After her fifth child, Lucy decided that she should have some
cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her
former youthful glory because her womanhood was dangling a bit
too low and looked like a ripped out fireplace. Time and
childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five
children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a nip
here and a tuck there so it looked more like a piggy bank slot
rather than a badly packed kebab.
Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find
three roses at the end of the bed.
Who are these from?" she asked the nurse, "They're very nice but
I'm a bit confused as to why I've received them".
"Well" said the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the
operation went so well and you were such a model patient that
he wanted to say thanks". Ah, that's really nice," said Lucy.
"The second is from your husband - he's delighted the
operation was such a success that he can't wait to get
you home. Apparently it'll be the first time he's touched
the sides for years and he's very excited!"
"Brilliant!" said Lucy "And the third? That's from Eric in
the burns unit" said the nurse."He just wanted to say thanks
for his new ears."
cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her
former youthful glory because her womanhood was dangling a bit
too low and looked like a ripped out fireplace. Time and
childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five
children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a nip
here and a tuck there so it looked more like a piggy bank slot
rather than a badly packed kebab.
Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find
three roses at the end of the bed.
Who are these from?" she asked the nurse, "They're very nice but
I'm a bit confused as to why I've received them".
"Well" said the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the
operation went so well and you were such a model patient that
he wanted to say thanks". Ah, that's really nice," said Lucy.
"The second is from your husband - he's delighted the
operation was such a success that he can't wait to get
you home. Apparently it'll be the first time he's touched
the sides for years and he's very excited!"
"Brilliant!" said Lucy "And the third? That's from Eric in
the burns unit" said the nurse."He just wanted to say thanks
for his new ears."
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announced to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy: a 3-pack, 10-pack or a family pack. "I'm really going to put it to this girl," the boy tells the pharmacist. "I intend to plug every orifice in her body at least twice."
The pharmacist, with a laugh, suggests the family pack, saying the boy will be rather busy, it being his f irst time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend finally leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy: a 3-pack, 10-pack or a family pack. "I'm really going to put it to this girl," the boy tells the pharmacist. "I intend to plug every orifice in her body at least twice."
The pharmacist, with a laugh, suggests the family pack, saying the boy will be rather busy, it being his f irst time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend finally leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
