Crap jokes

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Rob1000100

Rob1000100

New Member
Nov 19, 2002
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... so I walked into my local butchers, and the butcher said "I bet you £50 I can raise these two slices of meat higher than you" - I said "I cant do that, the steaks are too high" :(





Come on post your crap jokes :P
 
A jump lead walks into a bar and asks for a pint. The barman quickly pours him his pint and says " ok ok here's your pint just dont start anything"!


well .. you asked for crap ones!
 
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what do u call a rodent that crosses a road, rolls in mud and crosses back again.....


a dirty double crossing rat :D
 
"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"

"So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'"

"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a tent.' He said 'To camp?', I said [butchly] 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent.' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' He said 'Camper?' I said [campily] 'Make your mind up.'

curtesy of Tim Vine ..
 
There were three prostitutes living together - a mother, daughter and
grandmother. One night the daughter came home looking very down. "How
did you get on tonight dear?" asked her mother.

"Not too good," replied the daughter. "I only got £20 for a blow job."

"Wow!" said the mother, "In my day we gave a blow job for 5 pence!"

"Good God!" said the Grandmother. "In my day we were just glad to get
something warm in our stomachs!"
 
SoldierBoy said:
There were three prostitutes living together - a mother, daughter and
grandmother. One night the daughter came home looking very down. "How
did you get on tonight dear?" asked her mother.

"Not too good," replied the daughter. "I only got £20 for a blow job."

"Wow!" said the mother, "In my day we gave a blow job for 5 pence!"

"Good God!" said the Grandmother. "In my day we were just glad to get
something warm in our stomachs!"
Click to expand...
:lol:
 
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O0o0o just remembered DOCTOR DOCTOR jokes


Patient: Doctor Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains!

Doctor: Pull yourself together lad!

:lol:
 
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