Smacking your children?

[Ezby]

Its illegal in Scotland now i believe to smack your child... Are we protecting our children, or taking away our rights as a parent?

I spent all day looking after my 3yr old cousin y'day and I have to admitt i did smack him on 2occassions. Not hard - the point was to make him realise his actions, not to harm him - and it did work. However if i did something to annoy him later on in the day he was hitting me... which I found quite distressing

Thoughts people? esepcailly like to hear from the parents amongst us....

 

[Mughi]

I get sooooooo angry at the parents who stand in the street, or in a shop while their offspring run riot, and say in the most ineffectual voice "c'mere youuuu, don' dooo thaaaaat" I cant really get across the whine in the voice, but you get the idea. The kid ignores them and continues to for example, jump up and down on top of the sugar display as I saw tonight in the supermarket.
I cannot comment properly, not being a parent, I can only offer my opinion, but if its not out and out abuse, or hitting it with something like a rolled up newspaper, or a slipper, it is probably a good thing.
Kids dont seem to learn from whiney sentences. I suppose it comes down to the fine line between discipline and violence.

 

[Ezby]

yeh i think your right Mughi, smacking a child should be to discipline him or her not to cause them physical pain. I suppose some parents don't have the intelligence to know where to draw the line....

 

[DraizeTrain]

Originally posted by Ezby
yeh i think your right Mughi, smacking a child should be to discipline him or her not to cause them physical pain. I suppose some parents don't have the intelligence to know where to draw the line....

Well it is to cause them physical pain but along the lines of a short sharp shock. U cant reason with little kids and any1 that tries to is a fool imo. Kids will always `test the fence' until u physically stop them. Their lauguage is very basic...so u have to deal with them accordingly. U do this--->Jump up & down on a sugar display, u get this--->Stinging slap on the arse. All this softly softly approach is soooo frustrating for the rest of us to witness and u just know that the kids gonna turn into a right mouthy shit as a teenager. Many times in my life whilst seeing such behaviour ive so much wanted to approach the parents and ask if they minded me giving `little Johnny' a whallop seeing as they are unable to. 1 day i'll find a taker and boy, hes gotta get it!!

 

[BBStr@nge]

Lets get one thing clear.
Hitting your child is Child Abuse there is no other name for it. Not an opinion, it is fact.

The fact that a child is uncontrollable and plays up has a lot to do with the parenting of that child. And please don't be pedantic and say "what if the child has learning difficulties" etc etc etc.

If I were to have an argument with another adult and struck them as a result, I would be charged with a criminal offence.

Children have limited reasoning capacity, but they do feel pain.
As a parent I have felt like I could have struck my child.
All parents get to that pitch. I am an adult though, and it is my responsibility to ensure that I behave as such.
Once you are in the position where you smack your child you have no other alternative form of discipline.
So once your child has hardened to being "tapped" or "slapped on the legs" what do you do? You hit them harder. You as a responsible adult have left yourself with no other option.

Children that get hit become hardened to it.
Children learn through love and not through the uncontrolled frustrations of a parent.

 

[uZi]

Another point, by hitting the child, they grow up thinking that violence is acceptable, and so (IMO) are gonna end up hitting people in school, etc

I've felt like slapping younger cousins n stuff but i dont, simply cos i dont think they deserve it enuff ... personally my parents didnt hit me for discipline, and, although i can be a bit mouthy (tbh i dont respect people unless they earn it) i doubt its cos i was brought up without bein hit, more like im an annoying little fucker

 

[BBStr@nge]

Originally posted by DraizeTrain

Well it is to cause them physical pain but along the lines of a short sharp shock. U cant reason with little kids and any1 that tries to is a fool imo. Kids will always `test the fence' until u physically stop them. Their lauguage is very basic...so u have to deal with them accordingly. U do this--->Jump up & down on a sugar display, u get this--->Stinging slap on the arse. All this softly softly approach is soooo frustrating for the rest of us to witness and u just know that the kids gonna turn into a right mouthy shit as a teenager. Many times in my life whilst seeing such behaviour ive so much wanted to approach the parents and ask if they minded me giving `little Johnny' a whallop seeing as they are unable to. 1 day i'll find a taker and boy, hes gotta get it!!

Let me try and explain something to you all. I will try not to be condescending, as unfortunately, through my particular line of work I have seen and experienced things that many of you may not.

"you just know that the kids gonna turn into a right mouthy shit as a teenager"
No m8. the kid who is abused will turn into that teenager.

"U cant reason with little kids and any1 that tries to is a fool imo."
I reason with my son and have done so since he was a Baby.
I was never hit by my parents.
I am not a fool and neither were they.

I have witnessed the consequences of striking a child.
I don't want to have to go into detail on here to prove a point.
When you hit children you end up with a hardened individual.
Not a confident, considerate and well balanced adult.

Hitting children is Abuse

 

[DraizeTrain]

Surprise surprise...i dont agree with u BB. Stop being so bloody self rightous. Ur not the soddin `yard stick' for a better existance. U seem to think that John Lennons `Imagine' World is realistic...and i'll let u into a secret, it isn't.

I was joking about walloping other peoples kids btw but a simple clip round the ear didnt hurt any1 imo.

 

[Phear]

I think your seeing 1 end of the scale BB, and Draize the other. In the past Corporal Punishment was accpetable in many forms, and used at home, in schools etc, yet our parents / grandparents didn't all grow up to be psycopathic killers etc. I agree those days are left well behind, and taking it to that excess is not nessacary, but I do beleive a smack as a last resort is a fair way to teach a child a lesson. It should however be ONLY a last resort, after trying to reason with a child verbally, through other forms of punishment (with holding toys, treats etc). I don't beleive a child will grow up to beleive its ok to go around punching other people (in most cases) if the smack is only used as a very last resort for the worst kind of bad behaviour, which should be pretty rarely.

I was smacked as a child, but very very rarely, and when I was I knew it was because I had done something very wrong, and it was a lesson well learned.

 

[BBStr@nge]

Not being self righteous DT.

But your "but a simple clip round the ear didnt hurt any1 imo." statement, is both ignorant and ill informed.

Should I smack you for making a statement I don't agree with?
No, that would be well out of order.
Why is it ok then to strike a child?

explain

And I will respond by blowing every theory you can come up with, right out of the water.

Never claimed I was the yard stick for a better existence either.
Back your "a clip round the ear" comments up with fact.

 

[DraizeTrain]

Originally posted by Phear

I was smacked as a child, but very very rarely, and when I was I knew it was because I had done something very wrong, and it was a lesson well learned.

Same here, with similar upbringings as all my m8s...and none of us have turned into foul mouthed voilent thugs

 

[BBStr@nge]

Touché
And not every child that runs riot in a supermarket will turn out to be a mouthy teenager.

And neither of you can answer my original question.

What do you do when the smack, given as a last resort or not, fails to work?

 

[BBStr@nge]

Reasons you should not smack your child

And are you going to disagree with the NSPCC Draize?

Lets see how self righteous you can be.

 

[DraizeTrain]

Originally posted by BBStr@nge
Not being self righteous DT.

Well it looks like it to me. U talk down to people.

Originally posted by BBStr@nge
But your "but a simple clip round the ear didnt hurt any1 imo." statement, is both ignorant and ill informed.

Says who? u? as i said before, `ur no yark stick'.

Originally posted by BBStr@nge
Should I smack you for making a statement I don't agree with?
No, that would be well out of order.
Why is it ok then to strike a child?

Who said anything about striking a child cos they dont agree with u? Ur comparison is ridiculous. If a child has been told repeatedly to stop something that it shouldnt be doing and it still completely ignores ur wishes (the child is testing u at this stage) then a clip round the ear to remind it whos in charge is not unreasonable imo. Btw it happens in the animal kingdom all the time. Its a perfectly natural sequence of events.

Originally posted by BBStr@nge
And I will respond by blowing every theory you can come up with, right out of the water.

Can u get any more of an arrogent statement?...and u claim to not be self righteous...

Originally posted by BBStr@nge

Never claimed I was the yard stick for a better existence either.
Back your "a clip round the ear" comments up with fact.

Oh like u are? U work with young criminals do u not? Hardly a level playing field for judgement over the whole populace is it.

 

[BBStr@nge]

It is however my opinion based on experience

You have backed your statements up with no facts

And how is my comparison ridiculous?
I am asking you to answer a simple question.
If I had a problem with your behaviour, would it be acceptable for me to strike you?

Ridiculous statements? Boy you posted a pearler!

Btw it happens in the animal kingdom all the time. Its a perfectly natural sequence of events.

Maybe you think it is ok for Humans to eat their own young then?
Perhaps kids should shit in the back garden and bury it?
what an ignorant and ill informed statement.again

 

[DraizeTrain]

Originally posted by BBStr@nge
It is however my opinion based on experience

You have backed your statements up with no facts

NOR HAVE U!!!

Originally posted by BBStr@nge

And how is my comparison ridiculous?
I am asking you to answer a simple question.
If I had a problem with your behaviour, would it be acceptable for me to strike you?

Basically ur saying that under no circumstances is it exceptable for 1 human being to strike another human being...what ever the strength of the strike. Fine...but i dont agree...now if u cant deal with ppl not agreeing with u then maybe u shouldnt post in this forum.

Originally posted by BBStr@nge

Ridiculous statements? Boy you posted a pearler!

Well believe it or not BB we are decended from apes and many of our behavour patterns still exist from those times. Maybe uve seen different wildlife programmes to me but i cant recall seeing any species explaining verbally to its young any errors in its ways.

Originally posted by BBStr@nge
Maybe you think it is ok for Humans to eat their own young then?

Good to see ur capable or constructive debate...

Originally posted by BBStr@nge
Perhaps kids should shit in the back garden and bury it?

...and again.

Originally posted by BBStr@nge
what an ignorant and ill informed statement.again

Look i'll cut u a deal right. U ignore my posts & i'll do likewise with urs cos basically i could give a monkeys about anything that comes out of ur mouth...and im sure u feel the same about me. deal? Or would u rather have an on going ruck? Its a fair and reasonable offer i feel.

 

[jwer_NL]

i think it's much much easier to say you should slap kids when you don't have kids...

my mother and uncle are good examples i guess, my uncle doesn't have kids and always said "if i had kids i would...." my mum said the same when she didn't have us, but she couldn't bring herself to do all the things she thought...(things like religion and times when ur kids should be back home..)

she slapped us sometimes, a lesson well learned indeed but she always made sure to point out that she was really disappointed in me and the feeling i disappointed my parents usually was worse then the slapping...

there's no "thin line" between abuse and slappin ur children... slappin is something you do (or don't )when ur kid FUCKES UP and abuse is hittin ur children when you feel like it

right now i'd say that a slappin couldn't hurt a kid (when (s)he fuckes up badly), but i'm 99% sure i could never slap my own kid...won't be able to bring myself..

 

[BBStr@nge]

What DT meant to say was "I don't have a fucking rats ass of winning this argument"

I have backed my arguments up with fact-check the posted url (posted again.) Reasons you should not smack your child

My opinion is backed up by facts from the NSPCC. And that was just one example.
Shame you have resorted to attacking me personally. I said your statements were ill informed and ignorant, not yourself.
You can't justify your statements.
Your arguments are unfounded and irrational.
Your comparisons to the "Animal Kingdom" are hilarious.
Contrary to what you believe, I am capable of rational and constructive debate.
But in order for that to happen, you would have to back up some of the staements you have made.

And you just cant do it.
__________________

Look i'll cut u a deal right. U ignore my posts & i'll do likewise with urs cos basically i could give a monkeys about anything that comes out of ur mouth...and im sure u feel the same about me. deal? Or would u rather have an on going ruck? Its a fair and reasonable offer i feel.
__________________

I think what you meant to say was, "If I can't be David Beckham, I am taking my ball in".

 

[DraizeTrain]

Originally posted by BBStr@nge
What DT meant to say was "I don't have a fucking rats ass of winning this argument"

Is `winning' everything to u? For the last time:-

I DONT AGREE WITH U!! REALLY SORRY `M8' BUT THATS THE WAY IT IS.

Originally posted by BBStr@nge
You can't justify your statements.
Your arguments are unfounded and irrational.

I refer u to my answer a couple of inches up the page.

Originally posted by BBStr@nge
Your comparisons to the "Animal Kingdom" are hilarious.

Shoot them down then `Oh wise one'...on second thoughts, pls dont bother, my sides are aching enough as it is.

Originally posted by BBStr@nge

Contrary to what you believe, I am capable of rational and constructive debate.

Not from where im standing. Ur a forum bully, pure & simple. Ur like a dog with a bone. Any1 that doesnt agree with u and u just wont let it go.

Originally posted by BBStr@nge

I think what you meant to say was, "If I can't be David Beckham, I am taking my ball in".

Take it how u like...but the truth is i simply want nothing to do with u. Can u deal with that? although sadly i think the answer to that is `no'...

 

[BBStr@nge]

Keep your toys in your pram
And still you have no answer or backup to the statements that were made.

And point taken. You have indeed taken your ball in and I won't be calling for you to come out and play anymore.