X-rated Riddles?

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dede

New Member
Apr 8, 2004
386
0
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it!

Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?

A. About three inches.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?

A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . They don't have balls to scratch!
 
Q: How many men do you need to change a light bulb?
A: None, let her cook in the dark.

:wave: dede
 
Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
:lol:
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
the best one imo:rofl::rofl:
 
disclaimer: all not mine, source = http://www.sickipedia.org/

(ok sorry if ppl are offended)
Q: What do you get if you cross Gary Glitter with a homemade incendiary device?
A: The Prophet Mohammed.

Q: How does every X-rated joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder!

Q: What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
A: If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

let's add some x-rated non-riddles

Feminine hygiene jokes are the lowest form of humor. Period.

My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex.
Just this morning she asked, "Is that the best you can do?"

My wife spends a lot of time on eBay.
But no, I still haven't had any bids for her.

The school phoned me today and said, "your son's been telling lies"
I said, "well tell him he's bloody good - I ain't got any kids!"

Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

When Barack Obama was performing his speech after being elected as president, he had to do it behind three inch thick bullet-proof glass.
I thought that was a bit harsh - just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone.
 
I thought this was gonna be a riddle about how much of a prick XR is? Guess I was wrong, still a prick though =)))
 
X-Rated-Rear-View.jpg
 
ps...dont be jealous smant that I'd be missed by some if i left...now if u left we'd all have a giant party:D