An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to have sex, but the woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition. "I should tell you, I have acute angina," she said. The man replied, "That's good, because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!"
Q: What did the sign on the door of the brothel say ?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
A wife suspected that her husband was having an affair with the maid. She thought of a plan to take him by surprise. One day, she told the maid to take the day off and that night she went into the maid's room, switched off all the lights and, in pitch darkness, slipped into the bed. Sure enough, at midnight, there were footsteps and a figure opened the door and slipped into the maid's bed beside her. He began to make love to her, and with each passing moment, the woman grew more furious at her husband. Finally, unable to restrain herself any longer, the wife suddenly switched on the lights and fumed, "Surprised ?" "I sure am!" stammered the chauffeur.
An older couple sits down to breakfast on their fiftieth anniversary--stark naked. The wife says, "Oh, Harold, this is just like 50 years ago. My breasts feel all warm and tingly." He says, "They ought to, Gladys. One's hanging in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."
A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he's perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed. "Son, there's been a bit of a mix-up," admits the surgeon. "I'm afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis." "What!" gasps the patient. "You mean I'll never experience another erection?" "Oh, you might," the surgeon reassures him. "Just not yours."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding their horses all day. When they stopped to rest, Tonto placed his ear to the ground and listened. "Buffalo come," Tonto said. "How do you know that ?" asked the Lone Ranger. Tonto replied, "Ear sticky."
Q: What did the sign on the door of the brothel say ?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
A wife suspected that her husband was having an affair with the maid. She thought of a plan to take him by surprise. One day, she told the maid to take the day off and that night she went into the maid's room, switched off all the lights and, in pitch darkness, slipped into the bed. Sure enough, at midnight, there were footsteps and a figure opened the door and slipped into the maid's bed beside her. He began to make love to her, and with each passing moment, the woman grew more furious at her husband. Finally, unable to restrain herself any longer, the wife suddenly switched on the lights and fumed, "Surprised ?" "I sure am!" stammered the chauffeur.
An older couple sits down to breakfast on their fiftieth anniversary--stark naked. The wife says, "Oh, Harold, this is just like 50 years ago. My breasts feel all warm and tingly." He says, "They ought to, Gladys. One's hanging in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."
A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he's perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed. "Son, there's been a bit of a mix-up," admits the surgeon. "I'm afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis." "What!" gasps the patient. "You mean I'll never experience another erection?" "Oh, you might," the surgeon reassures him. "Just not yours."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding their horses all day. When they stopped to rest, Tonto placed his ear to the ground and listened. "Buffalo come," Tonto said. "How do you know that ?" asked the Lone Ranger. Tonto replied, "Ear sticky."
unless i get banned that is
