:d:d:d:d Joke

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U

UK_Warrior

!********* and general pissed up daddy type!
Jun 8, 2001
2,389
0
West Yorkshire
Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a
motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker
stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells
them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls
but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but
is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his
delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.

The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back
with the 20,000 bowling balls, will he take them, so he agrees. They manage
to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the
driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really
late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester
Police pulls him up for speeding.

The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies
with sarcasm " Scouse eggs".

The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He
opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.

He rushes back to his cruiser and gets onto his radio and calls for
immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what
emergency he has that he requires so many officers.

"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and
the fuckers have managed to nick a motorbike already."
 
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There is a factory in America which makes the tickle me elmo toys.
The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm. A new employee is hired at the Tickle me elmo factory and she reports on her first day at 0800.

The next day at 0845 there is a knock on the Personnel Managers door.

The foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see for himself, so the 2 men march down the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle me Elmo toys all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands the new employee surrounded by mountains of Tickle me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush fabric and a hugh bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around 2 marbles and begins carefully sew the little package between elmo's legs.

The Personal Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman. "I'm sorry" he says to her,barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday"

"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles"
 
made me read all that for nut. well i laughed @ my self reading all that for nothing s pld den :rofl:
 
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