Some of these may already be in place, but can I be bothered to check? Of course not! 
1111
Just read them and let me know if you think any / all / none / all / all of them are good ideas:
SERIOUS IDEAS
Stats:
Tie the server in with a stats page, letting everyone see how well they did. There could then be MotM awards or player of the month, etc. Not including w1sh, who can fo lengthways up a tree.
Captain who lost present round picks map for the next round:
This would help balance out all those 4-0 pugs, since the captain who lost one round would be in a position to reverse his team's fortunes by picking the next map (he'd still have to def first though).
Sub list:
Everyone can sign for a pug within say five minutes, then the bot closes the playerlimit based on how many people are signed (if it's an odd number it can wait for one more then close it). If more than 12 people sign within 5 minutes the bot asks for captains, then the caps are able to choose their players from however many are signed. Once the playerlimit is filled in this way the bot closes and the caps can pick maps. I realise this might mean weaker players being constantly left out in favour of strong players, but then this situation would not occur very often, since there is a time limit of 5 minutes on each signup window. If there are more than 12 people signed but only 12 people actually playing in the pug, the remainder can act as designated subs for anyone who might have to leave. In this way they might still get a game, and also there would be no unfair subs any more, since caps would have left out the weaker players anyway, and so no weak player would ever be getting replaced by a stronger player, thereby unbalancing the pug where it was previously balanced.
TS rule:
A rule which states that any signed player must idle on the main TS channel, so that when the PUG finally starts and captains are asking people to join the server, they don't need to go hunting around on pubs for players who buggered off to mess around while they waited for the pug to start. I know irc sends a PM to signed players with their password, but not everyone has the irc sound turned on to notify them of when this happens. If they were on TS then they could hardly fail to realise the pug was starting, since people would be telling them to get in.
Pause ability:
I'm sure this used to be in the league, though I can't remember anyone using it recently. Anyway, one team can pause the pug for up to 3 minutes if they're looking for a sub or whatever. This would be no great problem in a mod which requires people to hang around in the channel for over an hour at a time.
Help file / thread:
It would be nice to have all the utapug info posted in a thread with lots of lovely colours and pictures for simpletons like Riv and Riv later that day. Like a list of the commands and what they do, as well as the amorphous rules, guidelines on what you have to do to avoid a ban (I think the current advice for that is: don't exist), proper etiquette / CoC, etc.
IDEAS THAT ARE LESS SERIOUS BUT THAT STILL SHOULD BE DONE IMO
Admins that aren't pillocks:
Torp could start an argument with a squashed fairycake; Sphere is too busy making pictures showing Flow how to connect his TS to the pug server so that his entire computer will blow up as soon as he talks; and Inspire couldn't find his own arse with a special arse-finding apparatus, a help video called Arse: How Best To Find It and a book entitled How To Find Inspire's Arse In One Easy Step. They're all pillocks and no-one likes a pillock, except Riv, who does like a pillock, ie. himself, a definite pillock.
Uzi's return:
Clay pigeon ranges can't survive without actual clay pigeons, and in the same way utapug needs uZi back. You've all done it: you join the channel, scroll down the list of names to the U's, see my name, think 'oh no, Useless is here, I can't face getting owned again, I better find something else to do', scroll farther down, see uZi's name and think 'yay, someone to lob abuse at for the next three hours until someone caps!' Banning the stupidest man on the channel was a huge mistake, as the entertainment value has been reduced by a factor of pants. Unban him Torp, shortly before you get booted for being a pillock.
Persecution of X-Bomb:
If the current pug letter is x this man alone is capable of flushing the entire thing down the toilet. I vote someone should ban him, if not for this then for something else, eg. general principle.
Everyone changes their name to Bart:
We've been trying something similar lately on DoG customs and it works a treat. No-one ever gets annoyed when they get killed by a Bart, as there is no question of being beaten by someone with greater skill than you. We all know that when a Bart kills us it can be put down to freakish luck or unfortunate accident, since when Bart kills someone it's usually while he was trying to do something else, such as accidentally binding his fire button to the F3 key. Having Barts everywhere is a great stress-reliever and can in no way be a bad idea, especially considering it was one of mine.
A ban lottery in utapug:
Since pug bans are almost mandatory now, it would save the admins *cough* a lot of time and trouble if the pug channel just handed out bans automatically and at random on a weekly basis for no reason at all. Order would be maintained, since the necessary quota of at least one inexplicable ban per week would be fulfilled; and as an added benefit we could program the bot to choose the ban candidates from a pool of one. If that person was uZi everyone would be happy. I can see no downside to this great idea and if you can then don't tell me because I don't want to hear it.
Cloning MyM:
The only problem with this is that this community ain't big enough for two MyMs, so we could maybe make him a sort of mini-MyM, or maybe a McMyM. Suggestions welcome. PM MyM with them.
Auto Riv insult transmission upon connect / disconnect / reconnect / type / idle:
I'm amazed this hasn't been suggested before now. Think about it - every time you do anything in the pug channel, including idling, Riv gets a PM containing a personalised insult. And if he's not currently in the channel the insult gets sent to his email. This would have been the first thing I would have programmed the bot to do, and by now it really should be a priority for the next version.
So these are basically all my ideas on how to improve pugging for everyone except quite a lot of people. If you have read this far go and kill yourself with a cheese slice.
1111Just read them and let me know if you think any / all / none / all / all of them are good ideas:
SERIOUS IDEAS
Stats:
Tie the server in with a stats page, letting everyone see how well they did. There could then be MotM awards or player of the month, etc. Not including w1sh, who can fo lengthways up a tree.
Captain who lost present round picks map for the next round:
This would help balance out all those 4-0 pugs, since the captain who lost one round would be in a position to reverse his team's fortunes by picking the next map (he'd still have to def first though).
Sub list:
Everyone can sign for a pug within say five minutes, then the bot closes the playerlimit based on how many people are signed (if it's an odd number it can wait for one more then close it). If more than 12 people sign within 5 minutes the bot asks for captains, then the caps are able to choose their players from however many are signed. Once the playerlimit is filled in this way the bot closes and the caps can pick maps. I realise this might mean weaker players being constantly left out in favour of strong players, but then this situation would not occur very often, since there is a time limit of 5 minutes on each signup window. If there are more than 12 people signed but only 12 people actually playing in the pug, the remainder can act as designated subs for anyone who might have to leave. In this way they might still get a game, and also there would be no unfair subs any more, since caps would have left out the weaker players anyway, and so no weak player would ever be getting replaced by a stronger player, thereby unbalancing the pug where it was previously balanced.
TS rule:
A rule which states that any signed player must idle on the main TS channel, so that when the PUG finally starts and captains are asking people to join the server, they don't need to go hunting around on pubs for players who buggered off to mess around while they waited for the pug to start. I know irc sends a PM to signed players with their password, but not everyone has the irc sound turned on to notify them of when this happens. If they were on TS then they could hardly fail to realise the pug was starting, since people would be telling them to get in.
Pause ability:
I'm sure this used to be in the league, though I can't remember anyone using it recently. Anyway, one team can pause the pug for up to 3 minutes if they're looking for a sub or whatever. This would be no great problem in a mod which requires people to hang around in the channel for over an hour at a time.
Help file / thread:
It would be nice to have all the utapug info posted in a thread with lots of lovely colours and pictures for simpletons like Riv and Riv later that day. Like a list of the commands and what they do, as well as the amorphous rules, guidelines on what you have to do to avoid a ban (I think the current advice for that is: don't exist), proper etiquette / CoC, etc.
IDEAS THAT ARE LESS SERIOUS BUT THAT STILL SHOULD BE DONE IMO
Admins that aren't pillocks:
Torp could start an argument with a squashed fairycake; Sphere is too busy making pictures showing Flow how to connect his TS to the pug server so that his entire computer will blow up as soon as he talks; and Inspire couldn't find his own arse with a special arse-finding apparatus, a help video called Arse: How Best To Find It and a book entitled How To Find Inspire's Arse In One Easy Step. They're all pillocks and no-one likes a pillock, except Riv, who does like a pillock, ie. himself, a definite pillock.
Uzi's return:
Clay pigeon ranges can't survive without actual clay pigeons, and in the same way utapug needs uZi back. You've all done it: you join the channel, scroll down the list of names to the U's, see my name, think 'oh no, Useless is here, I can't face getting owned again, I better find something else to do', scroll farther down, see uZi's name and think 'yay, someone to lob abuse at for the next three hours until someone caps!' Banning the stupidest man on the channel was a huge mistake, as the entertainment value has been reduced by a factor of pants. Unban him Torp, shortly before you get booted for being a pillock.
Persecution of X-Bomb:
If the current pug letter is x this man alone is capable of flushing the entire thing down the toilet. I vote someone should ban him, if not for this then for something else, eg. general principle.
Everyone changes their name to Bart:
We've been trying something similar lately on DoG customs and it works a treat. No-one ever gets annoyed when they get killed by a Bart, as there is no question of being beaten by someone with greater skill than you. We all know that when a Bart kills us it can be put down to freakish luck or unfortunate accident, since when Bart kills someone it's usually while he was trying to do something else, such as accidentally binding his fire button to the F3 key. Having Barts everywhere is a great stress-reliever and can in no way be a bad idea, especially considering it was one of mine.
A ban lottery in utapug:
Since pug bans are almost mandatory now, it would save the admins *cough* a lot of time and trouble if the pug channel just handed out bans automatically and at random on a weekly basis for no reason at all. Order would be maintained, since the necessary quota of at least one inexplicable ban per week would be fulfilled; and as an added benefit we could program the bot to choose the ban candidates from a pool of one. If that person was uZi everyone would be happy. I can see no downside to this great idea and if you can then don't tell me because I don't want to hear it.
Cloning MyM:
The only problem with this is that this community ain't big enough for two MyMs, so we could maybe make him a sort of mini-MyM, or maybe a McMyM. Suggestions welcome. PM MyM with them.
Auto Riv insult transmission upon connect / disconnect / reconnect / type / idle:
I'm amazed this hasn't been suggested before now. Think about it - every time you do anything in the pug channel, including idling, Riv gets a PM containing a personalised insult. And if he's not currently in the channel the insult gets sent to his email. This would have been the first thing I would have programmed the bot to do, and by now it really should be a priority for the next version.
So these are basically all my ideas on how to improve pugging for everyone except quite a lot of people. If you have read this far go and kill yourself with a cheese slice.
and especially @ Riv part
although Ill answer the following one
