well obviously no-one is willing to acknowledge they've ever seen the Wizard of Oz so:
... three times he tapped his heels together and simultaneously said "There's no place like home" and to his horror he awoke wrapped up like a scarecrow in a hessien sack, carrying an oil can, next to a lion that was eating a young lady named Dorothy and a rather dodgy-looking white-haired old git with a selection of trinkets...
(Actually I ain't bothered about the story I just wanna post my new avatar a bit more)