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  • Hey - turns out IRC is out and something a little more modern has taken it's place... A little thing called Discord!

    Join our community @ https://discord.gg/JuaSzXBZrk for a pick-up game, or just to rekindle with fellow community members.

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RALPH AND EDNA

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you
with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the
hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. Edna promptly jumped in to save
him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be
discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to
tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being
discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the
life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound-mindedness. The bad
news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I
am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied. "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
 
Old one but still funny:

THE BRIDGE
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”

God replied. “Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.”

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, “God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries. What she means when she says nothing’s wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.

God replied: “You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge”?