Once upon the time there was...

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/me points at the moderator fleet
 
The maiden was innocent, unspoiled and very beautiful. On the stove she made the two a nice breakfast with eggs, bacon and mushrooms. The mushrooms were handpicked by the fair maiden the same morning. The two ate the breakfast and praised her cooking, the coffee seemed like the best darn coffe they had had in years. The Happy One could not help comparing it to the usual god awful breakfast he had to endure when it was PX his turn to cook it. He always made a royal mess and could not even cook water, left alone brew some nice strong coffee. Rejuvinated the two travellers asked the fair maiden why she was sobbing and crying earlier on. What was the cause of her distress, was there any way they could help her? The fair, beautiful maiden looked at them and hesitated. No she couldn't, she looked at the floor gathering courage. Lil'Nutsy wankinghood could not help noticing her perky breasts and all the other curves, well rounded in all the right places. It was choking him all up. The Happy One said: 'Well you don't have to tell us, it is ok. I'd like to thank you for a wonderful breakfast, the best I had in years!' The fair maiden smiled, with rosy blushes on her cheeks. Then she started to talk.....
 
..."I have a problem of serious nature". The evil lumberjack tribe living in the south has nicked all my ribena, which i so much love. Oh you mighty warrious, coud you obtain this potion for me from the evil redneck-woodchoppers? The noble knights couldn'tresist a quest for the maiden's lost potion...
 
'Yeah lets ask them to give us some and we will bring it back to you oh fair maiden' said lil'Nutsy Wankinghood. 'Yes that would deviate us from our quest which is just. But for you oh gentle, perky breasted, fair and generous maiden we will get you some of that potion'. Having said so, the two fierce warriors started to gather their stuff, polish their sniper rifles raiding the supplies of the fair maiden and set of to the South.
 
bah, one day ill write a post here that will make you stand there with your mouth wide open coz you cant believe how good it is

but not now, im tired :D
 
Having started their journey to south, the two brave wankers noticed a stranger heading to the opposite direction.
"Well met, travellers!" said the stranger and having responded to the greeting, Nutsy lil' Wankinghood enquiried if this stranger had seen any ribena-carrying lumberjacks on his way.
"Sure did sure did, but if it's lumberjacks you're after you better head west.
Indeed I met few rednecks on my way but you won't find any of them from south. They tried to raid me from some stuff called Ribena and having discovered I don't have such potion, they tried to take my last case of The Golden Beer of Lapland!
Furious of this I pulled out my loyal ASMD-rifle from beneath my robe and comboed all of those sweaty bastard from here to eternity! The ones who managed to evade my wrath are most likely trying to find the main lumber-group. They went on their way singing the traditional lumberjack-song 'Go West' so that's most likely the place where you'll find them.
I certainly hope you find yer Ribena then, but if you'll excuse me, I reckon there's a fair maiden to whom I must pay my 'respect' now."

After the stranger had carried on with his journey, our two brave wankers shrugged and began wondering if this stranger is really trustworthy, or should they still continue on thier original plan and head south...
 
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The Happy One knew better than to worry about the fair maiden. She could take good care of herself, that stranger would be in for a nasty surprise if he had anything naughty in mind. Besides practising some basic offencive defense that very same morning the fair maiden had proven to ba a crack shot with the super shock rifle. She was now a nun and a valued member of The Brotherhood. They decided to head South-West for a while and follow the Snake River. After three days they saw the Rednecks camping in the distance, celebrating and partying. They continued carefully and slowly checking out what was going on there.....
 
As they travelled on they heard a dreadful scream from the maidens cottage... but it was not the scream of the maiden, it was one of a man. The two said short prayers to the tramp who had had some uninnocent thoughts while passing by the fair maidens cottage... rest in peace.

The scream was enought to distract the rednecks and so Brother Happy took his rifle and *bang* one after one they went down... The two slowly descended to their camp to search their stinking bodies but suddenly they heard something awful... it was like two men grunting in a tent... they were breathing strongly that's for sure...
 
The Happy One did not want to expose poor lil'Nutsy wankinghoods soul to what there could be happening. So he took a look. He shot them, two double head shots if you understand....... The labels on their clothing said Gazzy and Mr Soul??? Well it did not matter. They searched the camp and found on a small wagon a whole load of Ribena. They took as much as they could carry and walked back to the fair maiden. What a party this promissed to be!!!!!! They reached her nice little dwelling in the evening. The fair maiden ran out and screamed very excited 'anyone want to see my tattoo???'
 
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