shamelessly stolen from another forum...
MEN'S THESAURUS
"I'M GOING FISHING"
Translation: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a
stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
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"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translation: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and there
is no chance at all of making it logical."
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"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translation: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
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"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Translation: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
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"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translation: "I have no idea how it works."
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"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translation: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
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"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Translation: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
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"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translation: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first
girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
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"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translation: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I
admit that I'm hurt."
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"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Translation: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
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"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translation: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
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"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translation: "What did you catch me at?"
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"I HEARD YOU."
Translation: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately
that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
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"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translation: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."
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"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translation: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
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"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translation: "No one will ever see us alive again."
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"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translation: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
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"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR"
(or the variation)
"THAT'S REALLY VERY INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translation: "Are you still talking?
MEN'S THESAURUS
"I'M GOING FISHING"
Translation: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a
stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translation: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and there
is no chance at all of making it logical."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translation: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Translation: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translation: "I have no idea how it works."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translation: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Translation: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translation: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first
girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translation: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I
admit that I'm hurt."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Translation: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translation: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translation: "What did you catch me at?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"I HEARD YOU."
Translation: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately
that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translation: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translation: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translation: "No one will ever see us alive again."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translation: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR"
(or the variation)
"THAT'S REALLY VERY INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translation: "Are you still talking?
