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It's just spam.
Lets Have A Joke Thread
- Thread starter Ðeadßoy
- Start date
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Hey - turns out IRC is out and something a little more modern has taken it's place... A little thing called Discord!
Join our community @ https://discord.gg/JuaSzXBZrk for a pick-up game, or just to rekindle with fellow community members.
Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the river Thames
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how
you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size
as kids. I just don't get it.'
'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'
'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.
'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'
'Down the other side of the river near the parking lot by the Houses of Parliament .'
'Same here. Hmm.. How do you catch them?'
'Well, I crawl up under one of their Jaguar cars and wait for one to unlock
the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of
them and eat 'em!'
'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not
getting any real nourishment.
See, by the time you finish shaking the shit
out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an arsehole and a briefcase.'
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how
you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size
as kids. I just don't get it.'
'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'
'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.
'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'
'Down the other side of the river near the parking lot by the Houses of Parliament .'
'Same here. Hmm.. How do you catch them?'
'Well, I crawl up under one of their Jaguar cars and wait for one to unlock
the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of
them and eat 'em!'
'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not
getting any real nourishment.
See, by the time you finish shaking the shit
out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an arsehole and a briefcase.'
Michael Jackson's autopsy has revealed that he has died of plastic overdose.
His wish was to donate his body to TUPPERWARE.
The new range will be called WACHOWARE
His wish was to donate his body to TUPPERWARE.
The new range will be called WACHOWARE
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains'?
'Not yet', she replied.
'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains'?
'Not yet', she replied.
A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'well your eyesight's perfect.'
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'well your eyesight's perfect.'
My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is.
I explained, when you die you come back as something else.
She said she wanted to come back as a pig.
I said, 'You're not fucking listening'
I explained, when you die you come back as something else.
She said she wanted to come back as a pig.
I said, 'You're not fucking listening'
A man walks into a petrol station and says, 'can I please have a KitKat Chunky?'
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch.'
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch.'
A blonde finds herself in serious trouble.
Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits.
She's desperate, so she decides to ask God for help.
She begins to pray... 'God, please help me. '
'I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. '
'Please let me win the lottery'
Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.
She again prays...
'God, please let me win the lottery!'
'I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.'
Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.
Once again, she prays...
'My God, why have you forsaken me?'
'I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving.'
I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You.
PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order.'
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open.
The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself...
'Sweetheart, work with Me on this.... Buy a ticket.'
Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits.
She's desperate, so she decides to ask God for help.
She begins to pray... 'God, please help me. '
'I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. '
'Please let me win the lottery'
Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.
She again prays...
'God, please let me win the lottery!'
'I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.'
Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.
Once again, she prays...
'My God, why have you forsaken me?'
'I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving.'
I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You.
PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order.'
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open.
The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself...
'Sweetheart, work with Me on this.... Buy a ticket.'