interview - Morpheus

Discussion in 'IAC - Interviews' started by Useless, Jul 30, 2007.

  1. Useless

    Useless Bravo

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    I went undercover in the IAC, posing as smantie in order to conduct some close-to-the-bone interviews with some of its players. Unfortunately there was only one person dumb enough to not immediately see through my disguise, and that person was Morpheus. So here's the interview:

    ---

    smant: Hello, Morpheus

    Morpheus: wotcha

    smant: Christ. First of all, how did you become involved in the IAC?

    Morpheus: hang on shouldnt i like introduce meself so everyone knows who i am an that?

    smant: Do you think at this point that that would do any good at all?

    Morpheus: prolly not tbh

    smant: I''m with you there. Answer my damn question.

    Morpheus: right. i got into it to try n help me country get the glory of winning the cup

    smant: I see, and how did that work out, bearing in mind that your country, England, had no fewer than four squads?

    Morpheus: not that good really

    smant: Well, understandably competition to be in England1 was fierce, but surely you were welcome in, for example, England2?

    Morpheus: well er...

    smant: England3, perhaps?

    Morpheus: pfff... urr...

    smant: England [sigh] 4?

    Morpheus: see the thing is...

    smant: Say no more. And so, in a contest entirely based on nationality, you wound up 'captaining' Scotland?

    Morpheus: yup

    smant: How in the name of Christ in a treehouse did they allow that to happen?

    Morpheus: wot, the cup admins?

    smant: No, the fkin Scotland squad.

    Morpheus: well i just told em id be their leader like

    smant: And they all agreed?

    Morpheus: well no. but not enough of em disagreed. *cough* on time *cough*

    smant: I see. And how much time did you give them, rounded up to the nearest month?

    Morpheus: a month id say

    smant: And rounded up to the nearest second?

    Morpheus: roughly four

    smant: Hmm. Hmm. Do you feel that blame for the Scotland squad's ultimate failure could be in any way apportioned to yourself??

    Morpheus: wot

    smant: Fuck sake. Was it your fault?

    Morpheus: na

    smant: Na?

    Morpheus: na

    smant: Na?

    Morpheus: na

    smant: What, that's it?

    Morpheus: ye

    smant: Ye?

    Morpheus: ye

    smant: Care to elaborate?

    Morpheus: na im rubbish at dancin

    smant: Jesus. No, it means provide further, more detailed information.

    Morpheus: k, twnz is a nob

    smant: A golden nugget of truth gleams brightly from within a pile of fallacious shite. Anything you want to say to the members of the now defunct Scotland squad?

    Morpheus: same time next year fannies :fingers:

    smant: Quite. Do you really think that's likely?

    Morpheus: sure why not?

    smant: I could answer but I fear we have neither the time nor the forum bandwidth. Incidentally, how would you say you qualified to be the leader of the Scotland team, or even a member of it?

    Morpheus: well i was in braveheart innit

    smant: Ah. Really?

    Morpheus: ye i was the main guy... em... wally willis

    smant: Fucking hell. By any chance do you mean William Wallace?

    Morpheus: nah there was defnitly a wally in it

    smant: Well, you've convinced me. Any other leadership qualifications? True ones?

    Morpheus: well my aunties third dog on me dads side was a scottie, so like that makes me a horonany scot like

    smant: "Horonany"?

    Morpheus: yup

    smant: Yes. I'm beginning to understand Scotland's absence from the IAC finals. How would you sum up your leadership of the Scotland team overall?

    Morpheus: i wouldnt

    smant: No, me neither. Any messages for the leaders of the two teams in the final?

    Morpheus: get the fuck on wif it fuck sake

    smant: No argument there, but any words of support?

    Morpheus: uzi likes the shaft and djs mums a munter

    smant: Profound. Well, on that note-

    Morpheus: an im pro clanless btw

    smant: Are you.

    Morpheus: ye

    smant: Happy hunting. Twat.

    [At this point I vomited, dislodging my smantie wig, dark glasses and false moustache]

    Morpheus: fuck sake its useless!

    [Morpheus then screamed "oh my days!" and tried to violate me with a tent pole]
     
  2. fu2

    fu2 New Member

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    L M F A O :pwnd :nod: nice one useless
     
  3. Morpheus

    Morpheus »MayHem«

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    :lol: u fucking tosser! u make me larf! x
     
  4. uZi

    uZi Bannned

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    :lol: lmfao
     
  5. endgegner

    endgegner The Saviour of UTA. Worship me as DJ worships sofa

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    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

    Respekt. Very nice Useless, always good for a laugh :lol:
     
  6. Snee

    Snee Bartender!

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    lololololol :lol:
     
  7. free^

    free^ - B-Boy -

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    :rofl: :lol:
    owned :D
     
  8. seas_

    seas_ Active Member

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  9. Champ`

    Champ` The Champ is here!!

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  10. Morpheus

    Morpheus »MayHem«

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    yer yer all to funny ffs. cuntz
     
  11. Mushroomhead

    Mushroomhead I'm so sorry I made a mistake!!

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  12. Morpheus

    Morpheus »MayHem«

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    new ud like it
     
  13. HUEY

    HUEY forever n00b

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    :lol: gg /morph :thumb:
     
  14. Akora

    Akora Nublike!

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  15. Morpheus

    Morpheus »MayHem«

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    ako where r u fs
     
  16. Zanmato

    Zanmato Gunishment

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  17. Blade

    Blade I love TaRgEt, he's my chocolate boy!

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  18. seas_

    seas_ Active Member

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    zan is ignoring my pms :(:(:(
     
  19. mousen

    mousen its a fact - i pwn you all

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  20. antidote

    antidote Member

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