Why does an essex girl
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I guess 
Not "Assex", its "Essex". That is actually a county on the British Isle.
http://www.thisisessex.co.uk/
http://www.thisisessex.co.uk/
An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the council worker
"10" replies the Essex girl
"10???" says the council worker.. "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker.
"That's easy," says the girl... "I just use their surnames"
"How many children?" asks the council worker
"10" replies the Essex girl
"10???" says the council worker.. "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker.
"That's easy," says the girl... "I just use their surnames"
An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter.
"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear as he was a bit deaf. "No"
she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."
"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear as he was a bit deaf. "No"
she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."
Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."
An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding.
The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon."
Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Romford, mate."
Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of car till she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "Ok how many fingers am I putting up?"
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"
The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon."
Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Romford, mate."
Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of car till she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "Ok how many fingers am I putting up?"
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"
2 Essex girls went on holiday to America and never returned. They were found frozen to death at a movie drive-in where they'd gone to see Closed For The Winter.
An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing.
She says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being fanny or nuffink, but why doz one of your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it ?
So the Irish guy smiles,puts down his glass of Guinness and replies,
"Well, oim a little bit tick you see. The one with the R on it is for me right foot and the one with the L is for me left foot"
"Cor! exclaims the Essex girl, "So THAT'S why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them.
She says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being fanny or nuffink, but why doz one of your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it ?
So the Irish guy smiles,puts down his glass of Guinness and replies,
"Well, oim a little bit tick you see. The one with the R on it is for me right foot and the one with the L is for me left foot"
"Cor! exclaims the Essex girl, "So THAT'S why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them.
