Books

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Working my way through the Wheel of Time series. I finished Crown of Swords earlier this week (worst ending ever?) but probably won't get to the rest of the series for a little bit because: a) I still need to buy the last few and b) I want to finish off Arthur C. Clarke's Rama series.

I must say, after reading Robert Jordan's work I have trouble reading the Dragonlance and Forgotten Realms novels; they just seem so average in comparison.
 
My favourit is "Big Trouble" from Dave Barry.
Forget the stupid crap movie. It was awful, but the book pwns. Really funny.

an example:
In the following part 2 murders have to kill a man. So they sit in the garden, hiding in the dark and waiting for a good chance to shoot...
"I cant shoot him now." Henry said, "He's too close to the women." Henry was the man with the rifle; Leonard's main job were to drive and keep Henry company.
"You dont shoot him soon" Leonard said, "I'm dead, from these fucking mosquitoes." He slapped one on his wrist, leaving a quarter-size blot of blood and bug parts. "Look at this thing," he said. "He's the size of that fucking dog."
"She" said Henry, continuing to watch the family through the window.
"She?" asked Leonard. "She what?"
"The mosquito." said Henry. "It's a she."
Leonard looked closely at the blot on his wirst, then back at Henry:
"How the fuck can you tell that?" he asked.

"This show on the Discovery Channel." explained Henry. "They said only the female mosquito sucks your blood."
Leonard looked at the blot again. He said "Bitch."

"What they didn't explain," said Henry, "is what do the male mosquitos eat?"
"What are you worried about them?"
"No, I'm not worried about them. I'm just..."
"You want I should go get a fucking pizza for them, set it out here in the jungle so they don't starve?"
"I'm just saying, what do they eat? If they don't suck blood? It's all I'm saying."

"Maybe they suck each other," said Leonard. Henry had to smile at that, which only encouraged Leonard.
"Oh Bruth! Leonard said in a lisping mosquiot whisper. "You gave a BIG thtinger!"
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:rofl:

or another text passage. This time it's about Roger a lazy dog and his "enemy".

.... have a dog, named Roger. Roger was the random result of generations of hasty, unplanned dog sex: Among other characteristics, he had the low-slung body of a beagle, the pointy ears of a German shepherd, the enthusiasm of a Labrador retriever, the stubby tail of a boxer, and the intelligence of cerlery.

On this evening, Roger was, as usual, patrolling the backyard, but he represented no threat to human intruders. Roger loves humans, all of them, unreservedly. Because you never knew when a human was going to, out of nowhere, like magic, produce food. And Roger really loved food.

What Roger hated was the toad.
...
The particular toad that Roger hate, the Enemy Toad, had thrived to a weight of three pounds; ...
As far as Roger was concerned, this toad was the most evil being in the universe, because it ate his food. Each day, Nina the maid, would fill Roger's bowl with a heaping mound of dog food and place it on the patio outside the family room. And each day, just as Roger was about to devour his food, the toad, with startlingly quick movement, would launch its bloated body into the air and land splat in the center of Roger's kibble.
Click to expand...
:lol:

for more funny text examples of this class book just click here. :)
 
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neph u figures out what the main char is in that series??? I neither can decide nor do most of em survive or got hero character :D well imo its the quick ben so :P
 
ben may turn out to be a key character, but I dont think there is anyone that could be classified as THE main character of this series. They all play a major or minor role in a great vast plot.
 
Working my way through the Necroscope series by Brian Lumley.
Wampyri, necromancy, time travel, dead, undead, evil eyes, what more can you want?
 
I may have to check out Big Trouble. Sounds hilarious.

"You want I should go get a fucking pizza for them, set it out here in the jungle so they don't starve?"
gold :rofl:
 
Apocalypse said:
Anyone interested in WW2 could do a lot worse than Stephen E.Ambroses's (Band of Brothers) selection.

D-Day and Pegasus Bridge are well worth the read.

A little bit over the top in terms of hero worship, rather than reporting the historical facts, but he does it for both sides, so it's fair game in my eyes. After reading those books, you can't help but think that fs there was any such place on as Hell on Earth, than Omaha Beach would have been 100 floors below it.
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BoB rocks. Read it twice now, and watched it loads of times on DVD (takes a while tho lol)
 
im reading David Niven's bring on the empty horses
and the hitchhickers guid to the galaxy at the moment
with "first light" a book you might like Gus waiting next :)


i want an english copy of this book Simo Häyhä, "Valkoinen kuolema" (white death)
about Simo Häyhä a Finish sniper in the winter war .. but i havent seen in it english yet :(
 
Ajax said:
if its about {SUYM}_necroscope i want to see some woodsniffing action
Click to expand...

oi!

For the horror fans out there I can recommend Clive Barkers "Books of Blood". Just finished the first three and they are excellent.
 
Anything by Michael Connelly - the Bosch books are excellent.
Dark Tower series by Stephen King - an absolute masterpiece.

The book u r after sounds very interesting Rich.
 
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