"Dont know nufink about the game but know a joke"

[sash]

Mrs Parkes the science teacher, asks her class "Can anyone tell me which body part increases to 10times it's size when stimulated?"

Mary stands up wide eyed and shocked "Mrs Parkes!! You should not be asking us young children a question like that in class!! I'm going to tell my parents and they will tell the principal and you will get fired - nurrrrr!!" Mary sits down tskkking at all the other kids about their awful teacher.

Mrs Parkes asks again, "Is there anyone that can tell me which part of the body increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

Mary's mouth drops open at this !! She runs around the class yelling "Mrs Parkes is gonna get fired, Mrs Parkes is gonna get fired.... nurr nurr ne nurr nurr!!!"

Mrs Parkes asks again "Anyone...? "

Billy in the corner stands up. "Err.. Miss.. the answer is the pupil of the eye Miss". "Well done Billy, that's the correct answer, ten house points" says Mrs Parkes.

She turns to Mary and says "And as for you young lady... number one, you have a very dirty mind.... number two, you didn't do your homework... and number three, you are going to be sadly disappointed when you grow up!!"

 

[Crusader]

1001

Crusader

 

[SneakyBastard]

 

[Hugh(_I_)Jarse]

Truths
1) Moles are always smaller than you imagine.
2) At the end of every party there is always a fat
girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen
in a pub is when your pint to toilet cycle get
scynchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether its ok to eat
green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the
digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel
really manly.
8) Your never quite sure whether its against the
law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
9) Whatever your age the desire to make plastic
dolls shag is almost impossible to resist.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup a soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating an
apple.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet
cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel
manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always
turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking
horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran
into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as
schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like
it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a
p*ss flushed half way through and then raced against
the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a
frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel
excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You cant respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily
feel when you you've gotten your hand or head stuck in
something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat
hangers.
29) Despite constant warning you have never met
anybody who has their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing
socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) Youve turned into your dad the day you put
aside a thin piece of wood to specifically stir paint
with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their
nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
36) Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones

 

[sash]

I, Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for
the following reasons:

I do physical labor work at great depths.

I plunge head first into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I don't get paid overtime.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

 

[sash]

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration rejects
your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management
team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often
seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured
and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations,
such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before
you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen
constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying
two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,

 

[sash]

SORRY EVERY1 BUT IM LEAVING THE THREAD
PLZ SOME1 TAKE OVER
I JUST HAVENT THE TIME NOW
NEED 2 SPEND MORE TIME WIV MY LOVE -RD-